Manglish?

I was checking my email just now and a friend was forwarding this :


British English vs. Malaysian English
 
Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.
 
1. WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
 
Malaysians: No stock.
 

2. RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
 
Malaysians: Hello, who call?
 

3. ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
 
Malaysians: S-kew me.
 

4. WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away,this drink is on me.
 
Malaysians: No need lah.
 
 
5. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
 
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?
 
 
6. WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
  
Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!
 
 
7. WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
 
Malaysians: Where got?
 
 
8. WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
 
Malaysians: Don't want lah.
 
 
9. IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
 
Malaysians: You mad ah?
 
10. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me,but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
 
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
 
 
11. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU..
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
 
Malaysians: See what, see what?
  
 
12. WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..
 
Malaysians: Die lah!!
 
 
13. WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?  
 
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?
 
 
14. WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
  
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!
 
 
15. WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
 
Malaysians: Celaka you!